The French language famously has no single word for “home.” In Tagalog, the word “gigil” can only be defined in English as the emotion associated with seeing something so cute it makes you want to squeeze the bejeezus out of it. In Portuguese, “cafune” is a verb that means to run your fingers gently through someone’s hair. What precise or complicated thing do you say/do/feel/think often enough to want a single English word for it? For me, I’d love an English verb that means “to consider a possible course of action for longer than it would actually take to simply do it.” Not that I’m ever guilty of that or anything… Continue reading I wish there were an English word for… What? Fill in the blank.
Category Archives: …Ask Your Friends
What brand (that you use today) do you think you’ll be using 30 years from now?
This is an interesting question because you’re not only thinking about the products or services to which you are very loyal. You’re also thinking about which products and services will even still be around in the very made-up-sounding year of 2046. For me? Costco. I freakin love that place and I hope, Hope, HOPE that we’re all still around in 30 years. On the other hand, there’s Facebook. Am I the only one who would be pretty shocked if Facebook was still a name that we all talked about in 2046? Only time will tell… Continue reading What brand (that you use today) do you think you’ll be using 30 years from now?
What rule, way of thinking, or policy has been successful for you in the past but may be limiting you now?
First, tell me about a time it brought you success. And then tell me why you suspect it might be holding you back now. Changing your context can very easily turn a strength into a weakness or limitation. Just ask Michael Jordan. Did you ever catch his 2009 trainwreck of an acceptance speech at the NBA Hall of Fame? Jordan is arguably the most revered athlete on Earth. He was better at basketball than I will probably ever be at anything. He got that way because of his ultra-competitive nature. During his playing days, “ultra-competitive” was a character strength. It’s hard to watch his often petty Hall of Fame speech and say the same thing. Just because it’s always worked, doesn’t mean it always will. Continue reading What rule, way of thinking, or policy has been successful for you in the past but may be limiting you now?
In the last year, what’s the longest stretch of time you’ve gone without checking email?
Okay, if I’m answering this one honestly I’ve got to say it’s probably less than 36 hours. (And the instance I’m thinking of involved a long-haul flight to the Philippines which in itself puts you outside of normal internet access for more than 15 hours.) I’ve gone longer than 36 hours without taking a shower, for sure. Weeks without exercising. Months without reading a work of fiction. But email? I check email — compulsively.
When in your life have you been the most intensely hungry?
I don’t mean hungry in the sense of driven or ambitious or desirous of some outcome. I mean physically in need of calories and uncomfortable because of it. When have you been hungriest? Literally. For me, a few moments come to mind immediately. Once after working an extra long closing shift at Baskin & Robbins (my first job ever), I was exceptionally hungry and stopped at McDonald’s on my way home and it was GLORIOUS. Glorious twenty times — one for each nugget. Another time, in high school after a summer water polo tournament, my team stopped at a diner before the long ride home. Food took about an hour to hit our tables and I was ravenous and angry by the time it came. Another time, in Haiti right after the 2010 earthquake I’d spent the entire day unloading and coordinating the receiving end of eight, 40-foot shipping containers. By the early evening I was very weak and shuffling back to my tent when my friend Gena (who has called Haiti her home for about 20 years now) took me by the arm and sat me in front of a steak(!) from her native Ireland that she’d been saving in the freezer. These are my moments of intense hunger. But they’re few and far between. And I remember them almost as much for the happy, food-filled endings as I do for the hunger pains themselves. It’s a TERRIBLE thing to be hungry. Truly horrible. I think it’s important for us, the well-fed, to remember that hunger is a daily reality for many. Continue reading When in your life have you been the most intensely hungry?
If you had to tithe 10% of your income to an organization, who would receive your money?
The organization could be a religious community, of course, but let’s also include any non-profit or for-profit, political party, university, research institution, etc… Any entity that isn’t you or your family — the money really has to leave your bank account and your control. In some communities, not tithing has immediate repercussions. But in most circles today (mine included), tithing that 10% is hardly an expectation. Sometimes, though, I wonder how all our communities would be different if tithing WERE an obligation. Continue reading If you had to tithe 10% of your income to an organization, who would receive your money?
When has someone vouched for you?
“No he’s cool.” “It’s alright, she’s with me.” Dang, it feels so good to have someone vouch for you! In my first year of college I showed up at a costume party hosted by Benny – one of my water polo teammates. He was an upperclassman and it was the first time I’d ventured socially onto “North Campus” where the Juniors and Seniors lived. An hour earlier, I was in my dorm room and couldn’t come up with a costume idea so I decided to use the materials I had at hand. Over the course of 2 months I’d polished off a lot of gatorade after practices and games. For some reason, I’d saved all the empty plastic bottles. I duct taped 3 dozen or so 32oz gatorade bottles all over myself to become “the human thirst quencher” and went rattling off awkwardly to the costume party. I eventually found the right room and cautiously stepped inside. Immediately, a guy and a girl I’d never met before screamed, “Hah!!” “Who the hell is this kid?” Other people looked over at me and I started regretting the gatorade bottles when, just at that moment, Bennie poked his head around a corner and said, “No he’s cool. Come on in!” And just like that, I was welcome. When has someone vouched for you? Continue reading When has someone vouched for you?
What’s the best costume you’ve ever had in your life?
It can be from any holiday or occasion! And it can be from any age range. Everyone’s got a costume they remember and love! Just a few years ago, I was stumped for Halloween costumes and was supposed to be at a party in an hour. I ended up turning a Costco milk jug into a Guy Fawkes/”V For Vendetta” mask. I was really proud of it! Still am.
Fast, free, recycled a discarded item, and got a lot of compliments! I’m tempted to put the design instructions online somewhere for Halloween revelers in a pinch. What getup stands out for you? Continue reading What’s the best costume you’ve ever had in your life?
What was the first accomplishment that made you think, “Yes! I’m an adult now!” ?
My brother gave me this question. It’s a good one! I do have to say, however, that feeling like an adult has come in waves. I mean that one day I’ll feel very much like a bona-fide adult and then the very next day I’ll feel like a little kid that’s just masquerading around in an adult costume. Nonetheless, I think the VERY first time I felt like an adult (no matter how briefly) was when I took home my first paycheck from the ice cream store Baskin&Robbins. I was 15 years old and I remember my mom taking me home from the BR. My paycheck in hand, I thought over and over to myself, “I’m part of the workforce now. I’m part of the workforce.” Never mind that I had no idea how to even deposit my check! (I told you, adulthood comes in waves.) Continue reading What was the first accomplishment that made you think, “Yes! I’m an adult now!” ?
If you didn’t know how old you are, how old would you be?
This is a really great question from a friend of a friend named Dan. He came across it at a house his parents rented in Portland, Maine. Here’s Dan to explain what about this question caught his eye:
“This was especially interesting to my wife and me because my college friends call me Uncle Dan… I am a year older than the rest of them because I spent a year as an exchange student after high school. I am old, sometimes cranky, sometimes wise. I feel older than my 31 years. My wife 26: carefree, playful, irresponsible. Her answer is 16 years old. Mine is 38.”
How about you? If you didn’t know any better, how old would you say you are? Continue reading If you didn’t know how old you are, how old would you be?
What’s something that you’re genuinely embarrassed to admit is a guilty pleasure?
Dave Grohl has a profanity laced quote that I really appreciate. It’s a long quote but it boils down to these first two sentences. “I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something, like it.” (Here’s the quote in full. I point you to it so as not to increase the F’bomb count here on WBQ by 10x in a single post.) I think he’s right on. So I’m working on really owning the things that I like even if there’s something about them that embarrasses me. This question, “What’s your guilty pleasure?” has mostly lost its edge because we live in hipster times, and throwback culture, and the term “guilty pleasure” is commonplace. So if someone says, “Oh jeez, well I’m so embarrassed but… I like listening to Backstreet Boys on cassette,” it doesn’t automatically strike me as a huge confession. Liking Backstreet Boys on cassette probably makes you the coolest person in more than a handful of circles. When people hear “What’s your guilty pleasure,” I think the meaning has shifted enough that we are actually answering the unrelated question: “What is quirky-endearing about you?” Quirky/endearing is not guilt inducing. For me, as a liberal arts English major, when among other English majors I’ve often left The Fountainhead off of my favorite books list. In that circle, The Fountainhead is taboo as all getout. Ayn Rand is universally trashed. Admitting that I loved it at first read and still re-read it now makes me worry that people won’t take me (or what I write) seriously. It makes me worry about not being accepted. I feel guilty of having done something wrong. That’s a guilty pleasure. Guilt. But I’m working on it… Continue reading What’s something that you’re genuinely embarrassed to admit is a guilty pleasure?
When you look back at all the times in your life that you said you’d do something and you delivered, which of those “follow-through moments” makes you proudest?
Maybe I’m not the only one. All growing up I thought that having a successful career would depend heavily on things like intelligence, talent, ambition, likeability, know-how… It’s a long list. Those things matter, certainly. But in adult life I continue to be amazed at how distinguishing a characteristic it truly is to simply DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU’RE GOING TO DO. You could take away so many of the other traits and skillsets and 5 Things Every Good Leader blah blah Bob Loblaw and have remaining ONLY great follow-through and you’d do fine. It’s with that assertion in mind that I ask this question about when you’ve delivered in your life. We should cultivate and celebrate follow-through moments more than we do. Big moments, small ones, all of them. Continue reading When you look back at all the times in your life that you said you’d do something and you delivered, which of those “follow-through moments” makes you proudest?
For an all-expenses-paid, one-week vacation anywhere in the world, would you be willing to tear the wings off a fly?
What about a butterfly? What about a hummingbird? If I’m being honest, and if we were talking about an all-expenses paid surf trip vacation to somewhere amazing like Hawaii or Indonesia or Australia, I could do a fly for sure. And I could do a butterfly if it were small and maybe just one flat color like beige or something. If it was a really intricate, colorful butterfly… I don’t know. I think I might struggle. And a hummingbird, hell no. Something about this question made me uncomfortable. It might have been the cruelty, or observing my own calculations, or feeling petty. I don’t know what exactly. But just for the discomfort alone, it’s worth including here. Continue reading For an all-expenses-paid, one-week vacation anywhere in the world, would you be willing to tear the wings off a fly?
What’s the last thing you’d say you’ve “aged out” of?
My friend Aaron came up with this question while we were talking about clubbing. It’s a good one. When was the last occasion that made you think, “Ehh, I think I might be getting too old for this”? I’m in my 30’s now so I’ll probably be thinking this a lot in the future. But then again, probably not any more than I’ve thought it throughout my life. The truth is, we’re aging out of things all the time. I definitely remember being 10 years old, in what would be my last year participating in a summer arts/enrichment camp for little kids and thinking “I might be too old for this next summer…” I also remember being 26 years old. After coming back from volunteering in Haiti, I’d been living at home for two and a half years. I thought to myself then, “Dude, you’re getting too old for this…” What is the most recent thing that you’d say you’ve aged out of? Continue reading What’s the last thing you’d say you’ve “aged out” of?
How different was your life two haircuts ago?
This is such a novel question – love it! Obviously answers will vary widely since some people cut their hair every few weeks and some people cut their hair very rarely. Measuring time by a “unit” like haircuts will do that. That’s what makes this one fun. For me, two haircuts ago I hadn’t yet turned 32. So that’s different! How about you? Continue reading How different was your life two haircuts ago?
If you were an Olympic athlete, what sport would you want to compete in? Why?
At the time of writing, it’s day 2 of the 2016 Rio Olympics! We’ve gotta have at least one Olympics-themed question. What sport would you want your gold medal to come from? It turns out President Obama would want to be a sprinter like Usain Bolt. He’s drawn to the purity and definitiveness of the “fastest man alive” distinction. As for me, I’d love to win the gold medal in water polo, which I played in high school and college. In the fantasy world where that happens, I’d also probably be the shortest Olympic water polo goalie in history. (The real guys are like 6’6”-ish. I am… not that.) Continue reading If you were an Olympic athlete, what sport would you want to compete in? Why?
If you had $30,000 and an entire year to study your deepest interest, what would you do?
Ever heard of the Watson Fellowship? It’s awarded to graduating college seniors and is mind-blowingly fantastic. From the Watson website:
“The Watson is a rare window of time after college and pre-career to engage your deepest interest on a world scale. Fellows conceive original projects, execute them outside of the United States for one year and embrace the ensuing journey. They decide where to go, who to meet and when to change course. They do not affiliate with academic institutions and may not hold formal employment. The program produces a year of personal insight, perspective and confidence that shapes the arc of fellows’ lives. Started in 1968, Watson Fellows comprise leaders in every field. The one-year stipend is $30,000.”
New college grads be damned. If YOU could become a Watson fellow right now, how would you spend the year? Continue reading If you had $30,000 and an entire year to study your deepest interest, what would you do?
Of all the things you wear, what makes you feel most different when wearing it?
The Invisibilia Podcast examines the invisible forces that control human behavior. A recent episode is titled “The Secret Emotional Life of Clothes.” In it the show hosts interview a middle-aged man who always wears sunglasses (a habit he picked up in high school when he discovered that sunglasses cut down on the number of times he was bullied). The show also looks at the mental effects on non-doctors of wearing a white doctor’s coat. It even examines the racial attitudes surrounding the hoodie. It got me thinking, of all the things I wear, what makes me feel the most different? I would have to say it’s my wedding band. I think it’s because nothing else I’ve ever worn signals something so clearly to society. People know I’m married. It makes me feel married. Steadied. Attached to Emily. Grateful. Continue reading Of all the things you wear, what makes you feel most different when wearing it?
What’s your favorite public space in the city where you live?
Amanda Burden, former city commissioner of New York City, is a passionate advocate for public spaces. She believes that great cities are defined by their public spaces – parks, paths, artwork, libraries… And she fought to make some of NYC’s most widely used spaces a reality, including Battery Park and the stunning High Line – a must-see 1.5-mile section of elevated, unused rail line that’s been transformed into a park and green space. What’s the mix like in your city of private space and public space? Are there any public spaces that you use often? That you love? That don’t exist yet but that you’d love to see? Continue reading What’s your favorite public space in the city where you live?
What’s the last song you remember dancing alone to?
Oh dang. First off, let me just say: “You’re welcome.” So I recently came across the Spotify playlist called “Bollywood Top 50.” Go ahead. Start following it. Trust me. There’s a song on there called “Tunak Tunak Tun – Remix.” I have no idea what the song is about but I’ll be damned if that is not just the danciest, bangin’est, catchiest thing I’ve ever heard IN MY LIFE. I found it initially while visiting my parents over the 4th of July weekend. My mama and I instantly started Bollywood dance partying it up. Instantly and with no power to do otherwise. Like we’d been hypnotized to dance and the trigger song was that song. Since then, I’ve definitely danced to this by myself on a few occasions. There. I’ve come clean. How about you? Continue reading What’s the last song you remember dancing alone to?